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05-Jul-2016 07:54 by 10 Comments

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Despite growing up in a loving Christian home, turning into a young woman who led Bible studies and attended Christian conferences, I messed up and had sex in college.

Even if that number is flawed or inflated, it's safe to say it's close, and that at the very least more than half of all Christian men and women don't wait until marriage to have sex.Sex is both physical and spiritual, and when there is commitment, trust, deep love and intimacy, it becomes something vastly different (and better) than a quick, emotionless encounter.Sharing this truth with young Christians involves a level of transparency and honesty that is desperately needed within the church.His fixation on the fact that she had previously had sex, even though she was repentant about this, clouded their relationship.He was devastated when she broke up with him, and could never admit anything he'd done wrong.The problem lies in the churches, and many Christians, reaction to this news.

Instead of changing the way they address premarital sex, and treating young people with the understanding and forgiveness needed, too many church leaders focus on trying instead to simply get young people to stop having sex.Its a lot easier to convince people to wait for something that is wonderful, than warn them against something dangerous and sordid.The truth is, I do wish I'd waited and "saved myself" for my husband.Maybe, instead of raising young people to be terrified of sex and the repercussions they'll face if they do mess up, Christian leaders should spend time talking about how amazing it can be when it's within the relationship for which it was intended.I have been on both sides of it, and I can say that sex with my husband is something incredibly different than anything I'd ever experienced before.There is something seriously wrong with how much he, and so many other Christians, value virginity.

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