Dating in relationship violence
Dating in relationship violence - www dating wanted com
And for all those times he tried to strip me of my spirit and I felt I had no value, I made it my mission.
The signs weren't obvious, especially to a 14 year-old, but it began with him telling me he didn't like the shirts I wore, or that my skirt was too short; at the time, it was easy to mistake jealousy and control for adoration.This includes behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, coerce, blame or injure someone. People stay in abusive relationships for many reasons, including fear, belief that their abuser needs help and will change, and because they care about the person. The definition of Relationship Violence from the Anti-Harassment Policy is listed below: Any physical, sexual and/or psychological harm against an individual by a current or former intimate or romantic partner.Intimate or romantic partners may be dating, cohabitating, married, separated or divorced, and may be of the same or opposite sex.The hell became so familiar that it was easier to stay rather than leave.It was easier to live with the shame and guilt in secrecy.One winter day during my junior year, I found out that he had cheated on me again. He became enraged as I walked away to my class but he didn't follow me. In that moment, I had two choices: I could either sit there and continue to be belittled in front of everyone because he wasn't going to leave, and nobody else was going to say or do anything, or I could walk out and be shamed anyway because I had given into his threats. As we walked down the hall, he spit in my face, pulled my necklace off my neck, threw it in the trashcan and he threw me up against the lockers. Mine is a story of emotional, psychological, and physical abuse.
After class had begun, I heard the door swing open, which was at the front of the classroom. He stayed at the door and looked toward the teacher and said to him in front of the whole class, "I need to speak to that fucking whore right there." He pointed at me, then he turned to me and said, "Bitch, get your fucking stupid ass out here now." Everybody turned and looked at me in shock but nobody said a word. It didn't begin immediately, in fact, there weren't any signs until we had been dating for almost a year.I ended up in the hospital a few times and was put in counseling but I never spoke about the abuse. Nobody knew about the many deliberate close call, head-on collisions while he was threatening to "kill us both." Finally, after almost eight years of abuse, I knew I had to leave. I knew that if I continued on this path, I might never see the light through the darkness. I knew if I didn't leave I could fall back into the cycle.Not because of some fight or big blowout, I was just done. I knew if I wanted any life at all, I had to choose me no matter what the cost. It took many years to repair the mental and emotional damage, but I'm here to say that it is possible.For all of those times he called me a tramp and a whore, I have made it my mission.All of those times he felt strong because I looked weak, only made me stronger.It soon progressed to name-calling, insults, unfounded accusations, degradation, humiliation, and isolation.