Dating ettiquite - timedating ru
For myself, just tell me I'm not what you're looking for.
What do you do/say when you are let down in a less-than-gracious manner?
Downplay your urge and guide your interests to contacting/meeting other women. :) Unfortunately I also see her socially fairly regularly, so the temptation to say something is still there. Online, if I get a message from someone isn't a good match, I'll give them the courtesy of a message back saying so.
Good luck :)Oh I know exactly what "not ready to date" means. I just wish there was a way of letting them know ahead of time that it's insulting. Of course, I'm also not inundated with messages, so I can see how the no-response is more reasonable.^^^^Ahhhhh, the (I want what I can't have syndrome) I get it....have all been there. A rude rejection is much worse than an ambiguous one. Leave it alone, you are wasting energy on [email protected] I think its a bit unrealistic of you to expect someone to respond to in a way that doesn't fit your standard of how they should respond.
When you use your credit card you don't expect the store to charge the maximum possible amount to your card.
The "social contract" refers to the fact that society benefits from cooperation and a reasonable expectation that we can trust each other for mutual benefit.
It might be more efficient, sure, and it's emotionally understandable but that's independent of the "rightness" of it. When we make friends we subconsciously respect a certain kind of reciprocation and feel betrayed if the friendship is abused for power. Keep in mind I'm assuming that there's already been an established conversation and both parties have invested some time.
The importance of courtesy grows in proportion to the amount of time the other person has invested in you.
So far, I've resisted the urge to call her out on that.
OP: When some women are brutally honest about telling a guy he is not what they are looking for, some men will continue pushing for a more specific answer, and even badger her to get a more acceptable (to him) answer....
Who she ended up with was puzzling, to say the least, but it made it crystal clear we were not a good match if nothing else! But seriously, let the temptation go...for some reason it doesn't work out the arm guy, maybe she will reconsider, but would you reallycare at that point...? I have found a man or even women, really don't want the truth. If she said she didn't find you sexually attractive, lackluster in bed or thought you were an ignorant azz, would you feel better? In most cases, it is easier to let someone down "easy" than it is to be brutally honest; but in either case, what is important is that you get the "message" in their response; and be adult enough to accept it. After all, it's her life and what am I going to do about it really? However, I have to object to the "it doesn't waste time" part of what you're saying. To answer the OP's question, I prefer a simple rejection of some kind. There's nothing brutal about saying "thanks but no thanks" or "I'm dating other people right now" or "I don't feel anything in particular, negative or positive, about you right now" or any of numerous other responses. Most attractive women that have told you the "Sorry we are not blah, blah.." End up having the guy continue to communicate, continue to maintain contact and extract some more precise answer to then they calling the woman "b it ch, c un t, user, whatever."So they learn soon that the no answer is the best answer.
Well, I think it is a-ok if a man tells me I am not what he is looking for. I don't care about the reason behind it, why should I? If you are talking about online dating, if I initiate a message to a guy and he is not interested, most of the time I do not get a reply back. Once in a while, a guy will write back and note we are not a good match. They get defensive and often lash out and are hurt. For me at least, whenever I complain about a "no response" it's mostly precisely because it *wastes my time* and shows a little bit of disrespect. Mostly people use the silent treatment for their own sake, and not "to let the other person off easy", contrary to what they may say. So I do not see any disrespect other than your ego being bruised.
All this transpired in maybe a week or week and 1/2. He got all bent out of shape because I told him this via email (I guess vs a phone call or in person? Even though we hadn't really spoke on the phone, most of our conversations had been via email and we'd only met once. The key ingredients of suicide are isolation and a sense of hopeless despair.